This morning, I had this on my heart to write. I struggled with it at first… I even gave up on it. Then one of my sisters in Christ came along and pretty much confirmed that I should finish it. So here it is; it’s called “Wild & Free”:
Lord knows I’ve come a long way… I just needed to believe/ Feels I’m in my own space… I’m living wild and free/ Please don’t try to tame me; don’t try to persuade me/ To be something different; ’cause I’ll never let you break me//
Please, don’t waste your time trying to re-direct me walk/ You can go and tell my Father, but we’ve already talked/ I done came too far just to let you take me back now/ I’ll fight about this and I promise I’ll never back down//
I finally found me, breathing underneath the rubble/ Can’t believe I’m still here; Jesus held me through the struggle/ If you only knew the half; man, I shouldn’t even be here/ I even took the wheel away from Jesus; told’em I’ll steer//
All that pride and arrogance, I see now… it was never me/ I’m a brand new creature; with a soul that’ll never cease/ I’m finally me… I’m the person I’ve been longing for/ I’m finally free… I took off running through that open door//
I remember wanting to fit in… I was crazy to pretend/ I was down to fight battles that I knew I couldn’t win/ I just wanted to belong when I saw those other wolf packs/ But no matter what I did I still had to have my own back//
I had to go and be a lone wolf for quite some time/ Til I made some real friends with some minds like mines/ I’ve endured a lot of pain just to make it to this place/ Feels like I crossed the finish line; the end of a race//
I know that it ain’t over though; I gott’a keep striving/ You can find me in my zone now; I found a place to thrive in/ I’m just hanging in the wild, with my squad; I got some dope friends/ And they love me for me, so I know I’m in some good hands//
I can honestly say that all my troubles, struggles, weaknesses and issues have a lot to do with who I am today… Ultimately, it’s all shaped me into the person I am today. Over the years, I’ve learned that God’s grace is sufficient (more than enough) through it all.
I know that if I didn’t go through the things I went through in the past, or have the weaknesses that I have (even though I can’t stand them), God would not have been able to show Himself worthy of being my strength in the midst of my weakness. He’s carried me through and held me together.
When I was broken and didn’t know my own identity, He showed me who I really was, slowly but surely. For a while I fought it and I ran from it… I didn’t wann’a be who He made me to be. I wanted to be someone else… I didn’t appreciate the unique things He gifted me with. I didn’t really love myself. I was always trying to be someone different. I’m still working at some things… But I’m a lot braver than I’ve ever been when it comes to being myself and not caring what people think about me. Can’t nobody tell me nothing now. Because I know who I am and who I’m not… I’ve grown tired of trying to be what I’m not meant to be. I’m refuse to live my life trying to please people. It’s all about God. I know He’s made me to be someone special; with purpose. And I know that there’s a reason for all that I been through. I didn’t go through everything I went through just for the hell of it either. God’s go a plan and He’s constantly working it all together for my good and His glory… And I’m seeing that daily.
Jeremiah 29:11, Romans 8:18 and 28… Believe that.