Walk With Me [my growing pains] (Intro)

roadahead

It’s been a while since I’ve really blogged. And I have to admit that I’m still learning what it means to be a blogger. To me, I’m just a writer. I’m not a blogger, yet. I wann’a be though… One day, I will be; I’ll have a lot more to say… Especially with all that I’ve been going through lately… which is why I’m here right now.

For the past few weeks (maybe months, I don’t keep count) I’ve been exhausted (mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually) to the point I haven’t wanted to get out of bed… but I’ve forced myself to do so and go to work, even when/if I wasn’t feeling my best.

I strive so hard though, because I have to. I don’t have any other option, honestly. But still, so much goes on in my head on a daily basis. Stuff that I don’t know how to talk about sometimes… or I do, except the only way I can get it out is through rapping… I find myself speaking my mind a lot through writing lyrics lately instead of just sitting and talking to people. Part of it’s got to do with the social anxiety. But if I’m not writing lyrics, pouring my heart out in that way, then I’m not really talking or being raw (as honest as I could be).

With all that being said, I am now inviting you to come along with me on this journey as I rap to you… You might be able to relate to these verses that I’ve piled up and kept to myself.

Here’s the first verse I would like to share, it’s called “Confession”:

I must confess; sometimes I’m not as strong as some people think/ I can be weak, I get depressed, I fall apart and I sink/ It’s just that Jesus’ always there to get me back on my feet/ But I promise bleed like you, and if you cut me, you’ll see//

Sometimes I wish that I was stronger, bolder; I just wann’a be a soldier/ But I get hurt and climb aboard my emotional roller coaster/ Yeah, I’m a man, but I still cry… I used to hold it all inside/ I was angry, foolish, filled with pride – you’d never catch me wipe my eyes//

But I’m done with that, no holding back – I’m moving forward, forget the past/ And I may seem whack; I’m cool with that – but I had to find a better path/ As I write I go into a place where I know I don’t have to hide/ I just get this feeling, like I’m cruising – let the windows down and ride//

My life ain’t easy, but it makes me meek… Jesus is who’s keeping me/ The only way I sleep at night; because He is the Prince of peace/ I face struggles every day, and I got friends who’ll say the same/ But we’ve overcome so much through Christ; we know that He forever reigns//

If you want to talk to me or share your opinion about the verses I put up, feel free! I would love to talk with you. Welcome to my journey… Come; walk with me.

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7 Comments Add yours

  1. mandy says:

    You can’t blog without being a writer, Michael, and since you definitely ARE a writer, blogging is a natural! I love your voice, so keep it up! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh! Wow! Well, thank you so much for this! It means a lot to hear/read this comment. Sometimes I just don’t think I’m fit to say that I’m a blogger just yet because I don’t “blog” enough. Or I don’t blog like other people… I shouldn’t compare though. But I feel like there are standards or something or I just have a long way to go… or a lo to learn about blogging, maybe? I don’t know… but still, you are appreciated for this comment.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. mandy says:

        Oh my goodness! There are NO rules in blogging! Some just post photos or memes or quotes; some talk about daily struggles, a whole lot of us are abuse survivors. No rules, Michael, just write where your heart leads you! 😀

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thank you for helping me understand! I see now… And yeah, I’ve seen that on a lot of blog sites; all the differences… what make them different from mines. Sometimes, I purposely look for blog sites that talk about the stuff I get overlooked for… I struggle with a lot of anxieties… some seem small, some not so small. But either way, they aren’t taken seriously. Which sucks because they are real to me and I can’t help it… anyway, I said all that to say that I appreciate the blogs that touch on stuff that I secretly relate to or just haven’t exposed yet… anyway, sorry for all that. It just came out.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. mandy says:

        Never be sorry for speaking you truth! We all struggle, to different degrees, with mental health issues- how could we not? But not everyone has the courage to say it out loud- understandably! Always remember: alone, we can do so little, but together we can do do much! 😊

        Liked by 1 person

      4. That’s true… That means a lot. And yeah, I was like that for a while because people didn’t take my struggles as serious as I did. It made me sink into myself and shut the whole world out… which is another reason why I’m on this little rap journey. Lol. That’s so true though. It’s not often I make these kinds of connections. Thank you so much.

        Liked by 1 person

      5. mandy says:

        😊

        Liked by 1 person

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